Theological gadget

Over the past few weeks, my coolest gadget - that has been both a blessing and a curse – is my alarm clock. My parents as a birthday gift some time ago sent me an alarm clock, because I had been complaining about the one I had. Years ago, I would have said, “Geez, this is cool. Never seen one of these before” very sarcastically. However, this year, I was completely stunned by this cool gadget. The alarm clock has huge digital numbers, a blue indaglo light, alarm clock, the date (month, day, and year), and a thermometer, all displayed on clock face. It’s awesome.

As winter arrived, I began – and still do – to talk to my parents on the phone, while in my sleeping bag. Yet, my mom and dad would laugh as I spent minutes on end shivering through the phone. “Why are you shivering?” my dad would ask. “I am cold . . . burrrrr . . . I swear . . . burrrrr . . . it’s colder in my room . . . burrrrr . . . than outside” I would mumble through chattering teeth. I must have told everyone in the world that it was colder inside my house than outside, and of course no one believed me. However, my new gadget proved my point.

The first day I got my toy; I took it outside and put it directly underneath the sun. Five minutes later, it read that it was 18 degree C. Then I realized, since my room isn’t directly underneath the sun, I should move the clock to the shade. Ten minutes later, the clock read that it was 15 degrees C. Then I put on my scarf, sweater, gloves and beanie and walked my clock into my room, and left it there. Five minutes later a difference of another 6 degrees was revealed, making my room a freezing 9 degrees C. Finally the proof I needed.

I say that my new gadget is both a blessing and a curse, mainly because I can now see how cold it truly is inside my room. Reading in bed and stealing glances at my clock, only to see the temperature dropping doesn’t help the morale in my room, especially when “nature calls.”

Being a native Texan, I have always had heat year-round. It’s probably because I never really had “white winter” or any winter, in fact, that I always painted it romantically. In the Houston heat, exiting your car, walking from the driveway to your house, you are already drenched in sweat. It’s nasty! I have spent my number of sweat-drenched days in Texas, to determine that I would rather be cold than hot. In the heat, you can only take off layers of clothes until a certain point before it becomes a crime. However in the cold, you can always put on layers. After spending winter in Santiago, I have experienced a cold so cold that it hurts your bones. Honestly, the winter – the cold – SUCKS! Wow, wasn’t I naïve?

Recently I had a conversation with Patrick about what Heaven will be like. I told him it would probably be nice and warm, unless my neighbor loves having blizzards. Then my house might get some nice cold fronts. As I sat on my sofa freezing, this did not appeal to me. So I thought to myself “Dude, screw that, go to Hell, heat all around.” Suddenly a quote popped into my mind “The biggest trick the devil ever pulled on mankind, was to make them believe that he didn’t exist.” I disagree. “The biggest trick the devil ever played on mankind was making them believe that hell was hot. Five bucks says in freezing cold!”

Thus, I pray “. . . lead me not into temptation.”