CNN BREAKING NEWS



HURRICANE ROY HITS ST. LOUIS BRINGING ABSOLUTE DEVASTATION TO BUSCH STADIUM AND THE SURROUNDING AREA. A HUGE SWARM OF KILLER BEES BLEW INTO ST. LOUIS ALONG WITH HURRICANE ROY. BRANCHES THAT WERE FORMALLY BUSCHS (USED FOR THE PERCHING OF THE CARDINALS) ARE NOW MERE TWIGS.... TORN AND BROKEN. GENERAL MANAGER,TONY LA RUSSA HAS REMOVED HIS SHADES, RUBBED HIS EYES AND LOOKED AROUND...TRYING TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED. WORD HAS IT ST. LOUIS FANS WILL BE GATHERING THE BAZILLIONS OF RED FEATHERS FLOATING IN THE AIR AND ON THE GROUND TO STUFF PILLOWS. THESE PILLOWS WILL BE USED TO BEAT THE NATIONAL NEWS NETWORKS FOR PROMISING THEM THE WORLD SERIES AND IT NOT HAPPENING!! BUSCH STADIUM ITSELF WILL BE TORN DOWN AND BURIED. THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ADVISED CHICAGO, THE WINDY CITY, TO BEGIN TO MAP A SAFETY PLAN IN PREPARATION FOR THE SWARM OF KILLER BEES THAT WILL BE FUELED BY "ROCKET" POWER THIS WEEKEND INVADING THEIR AREA.

Thanks CNN for an awesome story.

GO ASTROS!!!